This episode was so lame, it took me almost a year to write the review! (Hello again!) Maybe I was also being lazy, but man, this episode just killed my enthusiasm. Sadly, my laziness means I have to watch the episode again in order to review it.
The girls going to Puerto Rico seemed like an excuse for some of the cast and crew to go on vacation and for the girls to wear bikinis. WHO IS THIS RANDOM MODEL? When I first watched the episode, I assumed she was from America’s Next Top Model because some CW-forced appearance was the only thing that made sense and kind of excused the pointlessness of the character. But no, she’s just some model/actress and there is no purpose, unless the weird lesbian subtext was the purpose. I kept thinking the model was going to put the moves on Quinn. And then there was Lauren grabbing the model’s boobs, and Quinn taking the suggestive picture with her for Clay. I’m not offended (other than by this all being boring and pointless), but we don’t usually see these characters act like that and all of these things combined just made me think Mark Schwahn was being a creeper when he wrote and directed this. And then there were the homophobic “jokes” about Clay’s shirt and Brian Boitano (who is not openly gay, but come on, that was the intent). It was very disappointing to hear jokes like that.
Brooke avoiding drinks was cute. But she could have easily said she wasn’t in the mood for sushi and ordered something else instead of eating someone’s old discarded fries! That was gross. Drunk Lauren pigging out on snacks, falling off her bed, and getting locked out of her hotel room was kind of funny. It struck me as something we might have seen Brooke do in earlier seasons. But oh, look. It’s that model again, here to save her. WHY?
Julian telling Nathan that Brooke is pregnant was a nice moment.
WHY DIDN’T NATHAN MENTION LUCAS IN HIS LIST OF PEOPLE HE PLAYED WITH AT THE RIVER COURT? HE MENTIONED JIMMY EDWARDS FOR CRAP’S SAKE BUT NOT LUCAS AND NOT EVEN MOUTH? WHY ISN’T MOUTH TRYING TO SAVE THE RIVER COURT TOO?
I’m sorry. I normally hate it when people use caps too much but I can’t help it right now.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS EPISODE?
And it doesn’t end there. Chase is joining the Air Force, and Chuck is upset, so he drives a tractor over Clay’s stupid chair … set to Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep.” Fantastic song, but this is not an appropriate use for it. I can’t even get through this very special scene of Chase and Chuck talking at the picnic table. This is the most boring story arc of all time.
The Mouth and Millie story was okay, although its conclusion was pretty obvious from the start. I like Millie and I wish she could interact more with the other characters again. You know, I actually hate Mouth but in comparison to the bloated cast of lame-o minor characters from the past two years, I’m usually happy to see him now. His speech at the River Court was one of the better moments of the episode.
The best part of the episode was easily the last few minutes. Haley introducing the new Karen’s Cafe to Brooke was exciting. Haley and Brooke running the new cafe is a plot line with great potential! It was also lovely to see Brooke tell Haley she was pregnant, despite the frustration that so many less-important people found out first. Oh well. The last scene of Nathan and Jamie at the River Court was cute, too.